Low Rider

Yesterday I went shopping with an old friend who wanted a pair of low-riding jeans that would make her ass look round. We went to one of those stores on Broadway near Houston with walls of Levi's down one side and walls of Calvin Klein down the other. The young women that helped us were hellbent on finding the right pair of jeans for her and had an encyclopedic knowledge of the different styles, lenghts and brands in the store. My friend is always one to dress up a bit and on this particular Sunday afternoon, she was wearing sparkly stockings, knee high boots, and this short skirt. The first pair of jeans that she tried on looked unremarkable but fine. The girl in the back noticed she didn't like them, and said, "Why are you trying on those, those are too high-waisted for you." When my friend agreed that they weren't what she was looking for, the girl looked both of us over and agreed, "yeah those are the kind of jean you [meaning me] might wear, but not her." When I raised my eyebrows, trying to figure out whether I had just been insulted or not, she quickly said, "I mean, no offense." I suppose I could have been concerned about the implications of my wardobe, but I was soon distracted by the two women's conversation about exactly which part of my friend's ass looked flat on the second pair of jeans she tried on.