I celebrated my 35 birthday during the weekend and yesterday, mainly marking it by drinking way more wine than I should have and making a speech about how old I felt. Andy, who has my same age for a little less that two months, summed up my mood about the whole thing.
"Yes we are 35. Officially and irrevocably. Thank the gods! Did we do what we thought we would? Are we becoming more of who we want to be? A little bit yes and a little bit no, right? Depending on the angle and the day (I find). Welcome. You are now closer to 50 than 20."
4 comments:
ok, but you're still closer to the beginning than the end, given the average life expectancy for white American women is well over 70. in other words, you've still got farther to go than you've already come. (wow, if that doesn't depress you, i don't know what will....)
I am staring at 39 in less than 6 weeks and am completely done worrying about aging. Your friend nailed it. We might never live up to our expectations or maybe the expectations that others have for us, but the important thing is that we grow by living. Grow in a positive fashion, be it emotionally or spiritually through our experiences. Mainly that we learn to grow to accept our position on this earth and what we can do to make our situation and others better. It is not an easy task, especially when you are often surrounded by people who are stunted and are happy to bring you down to their level. These lyrics from Townes Van Zandt often ring in my head when I am faced with one of life's quandaries:
Where you been is good and gone
All you keeps the getting there
To live is to fly low and high
So shake the dust off of your wings
And the sleep out of your eyes
In other words, life can suck, but you gotta keep pushing on. Lately I have been fairly miserable, but I'm not going to stop flying.
That sound you just heard was my soapbox collapsing...
Townser and Jilly, I am remiss in not posting something to say thanks for your thoughts on life and dealing.
With lots of peace corps ish dramas lately which I can usually keep in perspective but somehow come raging to the front of my anxiety, this is really good advice.
Hang in there...
Happy Birthday, Ms C! My lameness is reflected in the fact that I didn't email you or leave a comment on the 14th, though I did think of you a great deal and sent you warm wishes repeatedly. I hope you're well, I miss you! Enjoy your new apartment--few things are more satisfying/gratifying than truly loving the place you inhabit. Love to you and your new home. :)
Post a Comment