This is ridiculously Peace Corp-ish post.
I have a wart. On the bottom of my foot. I think its a plantar wart, the one caused by a virus. It bears a striking resemblance to one I had when I was a child which just went away on its own. But sometime during the early 00´s (how does one read that, the early naught´s?) I developed another one. And it was here to stay. I had my fancy upper west side podiatrist freeze it off, over two sessions, for which I am sure he billed my insurance company handsomely. So you all don´t think I´m an absolute lunatic, I won´t share how much pleasure I derived from having something frozen off and then dug out of my foot with a scalpel. Well, oops, I kind of gave it away there. My foot was baby soft for maybe six weeks and then its started to come back and it was even bigger and more crater like than ever.
I had come to peace with the wart. I even kind of liked it. It was always there tucked away on the bottom of my foot, not on my hands or anything where anyone could actually see it. It doesn´t hurt. It doesn´t intefere with the ever important task of walking, like my flat arches or my strained tendons do.
The thing is last week I noticed it was growing. There were a couple little baby warts around it, and it seems to have an adjoining friend. I already know the futility of hi tech solutions, so I was open to other suggestions. In the Peace Corps they tell us to strangle it. Cover it with duct tape so the virus can´t breathe, they say. Because all the health care protocols of the Peace Corps is centralized through a medical office in Washington DC that oversees medical officers for every post, this means that young americans all over the world are wrapping their feet in duct tape and running out to give talks on cow castration or self esteem. One wart I could deal with, but multiple ones enter into the realm of gross. So yesterday I wrapped a huge piece of duct tape around my foot and ran out to give a workshop on parenting.
I´ll refrain from keeping you posted.
5 comments:
que asco!
Warts are yucky. Esp. in the plural. I had warts on my hand in high school. I got them frozen, I put stinky chemicals on them, I did all sorts of things and they never went away. Well, they'd go away, but they'd come right back. Until one day a few years later they just vanished all on their own. And they never came back!
Funny, it must be because I'm Peace Corps, but I'm curious to see what happens to the wart.
yes, warts are a virus.
if you want to do a natural thing...use oregano essential oil. it is anti viral. put it on the wart and cover with band aid every night and day. good luck.
can't wait to hear about the duct tape way.
Not only did I write a post about the wart on the bottom of my foot, I left it up there as the most recent for a good three weeks and you all have been kind enought ot take it seriously. The wart is different, softer, less crater-like and feels like it might not be rooted as deeply as it was. But it is still there.
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