This morning was me on the subway thinking about how I wanted a toasted onion bagel with cream cheese and knowing in my heart that what I was going to have was the granola in my office with skim milk. And getting elbowed by the woman trying to stand in the middle of the subway car and read the paper. I did say something to her, and she was rude and pissy (as was I) but she stopped folding and unfolding her paper against my back.

On the subject of the Passion of Christ movie, lots has been said, so I won't add to to the fray except to say I think its slightly distasteful to make a lot of money off something that is ostensibly an artistic expression meant to appeal to people's faith and spirituality. To say nothing of contributing to global divisions between various religious groups in this particular moment in history. For that reason, I have no intention of seeing it. I liked Frank Rich's column in yesterday's NY Times. He points out that Gibson seems to have a persecution complex, which is kind of preposterous, seeing as he is making gobs and gobs of money, and has the endorsments of the Pope AND the evangelicals in the United States.

This weekend I looked apartments to buy. I have sort of seen everything I know of that's on the market here that's not moving in Northern Manhattan, decided for one reason or another its not for me. It's a nice problem to have, but you do find yourself running on at the mouth about the Kingsbridge apartment's renovation versus the Park Terrace West's linoleum versus the commute from the one on Nagle, until you find that your friends eyes are glazing over and you feel like you better find something else to talk about quick before your self-image as an interesting and thoughtful human being crumbles forever. I do unfortunately have this sense that the apartment I didn't buy in one place or another is going to haunt me. Like one day in the yet to be identified home that I will settle in, I will think back to the floors in Kingsbridge apartment, and curse that fact that I didn't throw caution to the wind. (For those of you who wonder where the hell I am talking about, Kingsbridge is in the Bronx. Yes, the Bronx.) It is funny what you learn about yourself when you try to find a home. One place is to dark and another is too boring and a third is nice but too far away from everything, and one apartment that is lovely in the night, is horrible in the day with two awful views out either window. And when I did finally sit down and crunch the numbers and figure out what I could probably afford a month, it turned out I couldn't afford the beautiful apartment in Kingsbridge at all.

For anyone who is looking, this is a good resource, you can calculate your closing costs, what you would save with a bigger downpayment, how much you can really afford.