Snow and Dates

I am thinking today about happens when I meet someone and start going out with them. The flights of fancy. The imagined domestic bliss. The imagined domestic discord. And why it is so hard to just simply be in the moment without wondering about what it means for next month? For next summer? For when/if I want to have kids? For down the road? Why is it difficult to avoid projecting, spinning-out scenarios and extrapolations? The last couple weeks were a little bit of an excercise in focusing simply on the goal of getting to know someone. And seeing how it felt to be in one space or another with that person. And balancing the reserve that goes along with that with the terror of somehow waking up and finding yourself with a full-fledged relationship, without even having decided that I want it or not. Which is silly, because things really don't work that quickly usually. And that reserve is tricky because you find yourself running the risk of missing the moment. Until something says to you, this girl is freaking AWESOME and you should seal deal, (at least the dating deal) with a kiss as soon as you possibly can.

And that kiss is really exciting.